I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
