i think i have two assholes
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
