You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
