TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
