Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i've created a new STD.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
