she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
