I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I am naked and annoyed.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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