i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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