Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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