it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
