Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
