i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
