youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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