Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I deserve this hangover.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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