May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
