i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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