Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
