dude i'm inner monologue high
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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