feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
