it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
