i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
one might say we're banned from that church
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
