Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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