Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
