Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
