when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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