the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
