Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's never too late to be topless.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
