people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
