Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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