found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
