It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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