We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
