idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
