In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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