we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
