Porn is love you can see.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
