Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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