A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
