just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i dont even know how to be here
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
