the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
