So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
a search helicopter?!
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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