called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize