he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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