You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
