Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
