so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I need to align my fucking chakras
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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