So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
