I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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