I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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