I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Say something about gay babies.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
