i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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