im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
