I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i think my mom watched the whole time
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
