at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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