I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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