KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
