i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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